Nov 30, 2006

For those of you who bet our housecleaner wouldn’t show up today, you win. We are incredulous. This is the same person who didn’t show the last two times – each time she had a dramatic reason why she didn’t show, so we gave her another chance. However, three times, she’s out.

On to the next person.

One unfortunate consequence of this is that I had to mop the kitchen and dining room floors today because my sister Janet and brother-in-law John are coming tomorrow for the weekend. I would have let the floors go as they were, but Gary was too embarrassed by them. He tried to help out by sweeping them first, but I had to sweep them again. Maybe I should suggest he review that task during day program ;-)

Anyway, Janet and John, when you come tomorrow you need to ooh and ahh over the floors. Lie, if you have to ;-)

Nov 28, 2006

We finished “Rear Window.” An unsatisfying ending, I’m afraid, but we liked it up until the last second. We also liked how they pulled no punches about the disability, though Gary still complains that they didn’t show a bowel program, LOL.

We are taking bets as to whether the housekeeper we called will show on Thursday.

Nov 25, 2006

Tonight we watched about twenty minutes of Christopher Reeve’s remake of Hitchcock’s “Rear Window,” sent to us by Debra Talley. So far, we are really enjoying it. One thing we both noticed and said we liked was how they don’t shirk in showing the disability. (In comparing it to The Brooke Ellison Story, Gary said, “All they did was show her happy and smiling all the time – I’d like to see her doing the bowel program!” (Actually, they haven’t been quite that detailed in Rear Window ;-)))

Nov 24, 2006

Gary finished writing the math paper he’s been working on – the one with results he’d gotten before his accident. He says it’s ready to be sent off for publication.

Gary took over more of the personal task of giving himself a bed-bath. I brought over the soapy and plain washclothes, and he did the front of himself and his legs. I did the rest. However, I forgot and at the start of this process began to undress him. “Hey, you’re supposed to be doing this!” I told him after a short time. He said he was waiting to see how far I’d get before I remembered that. I gave him the evil eye.

Nov 23, 2006

We made the Thanksgiving meal together. I got out the recipe for the bread stuffing and brought over a lot of the ingredients to the kitchen table, and Gary sat at the table and chopped scallions and peeled and diced apples and cubed bread I toasted. I pureed some of the apple, then I cooked the scallions in a little olive oil, then added diced apple and fresh sage, parsley, and thyme. Finally I added the bread cubes and the pureed apple. I stuffed a Cornish game hen with this and put it in the oven. There was stuffing left over, so I put that in a separate baking dish. I also peeled a sweet potato and carrot, cut the potato into wedges and the carrot into chunks, and put those into another baking dish with some leftover diced apple and some maple syrup. That went into the oven about 25 minutes after the bird.

I was going to skip making the cranberries because we discovered Gary had no sugar (or if he did, we had no idea where it was). But Gary discovered some Country Time Lemonade Mix, so, he said, since I typically do a lot of substituting anyway, try that! I did, and he said (with puckered cheeks) it turned out good!

The last item on Gary’s menu was broccoli with pecans. Gary both steamed the broccoli and toasted the pecans. He said it was fun making the meal together.

As we sat down to our meal, Gary said, “So, what are you thankful for?” “You,” I said, tears coming to my eyes. “That’s what I was going to say,” he said.

Tears were in his eyes too.

Nov 22, 2006

My new bed came today. The delivery men set it up on the wood frame I have. I’d forgotten how tall the bedsprings are. I practically have to do a high jump to get onto the bed. Hopefully I won’t fall on the floor when I get out of bed in the middle of the night ;-)

Nov 20, 2006

Thanks to those who told me “HOV” stands for “High Occupancy Vehicle.”

One other thing from yesterday. Gary’s weight was about the same, though he’s been eating more than he did before (the creep! Wish my metabolism would let me eat more and not put anything on!). He was hoping the doc would say he needed to gain weight to get more padding on his butt so he’d have an excuse to have more ice cream ;-), but the doc said there was no need for him to gain weight, and “it never goes where you want it to go anyway.”

Today Gary called and got it straightened out with the helicopter people that we owe about $2000, not $9000.

Gary told his therapist at rehab that his flap restrictions have been lifted, so she had him practice getting his socks and shoes on and off while in the chair – he lifts his leg and crosses his ankle over the opposite knee to do this. He didn’t even have to scootch way forward in the chair and grab his leg while falling back to get his legs in position, which shows he is more flexible than when he left Shepherd. He’d better be, with all the stretching we’ve been doing of his legs!

This evening, when I was giving him his bed bath, I said, “You should be able to do this now, right?”

“Yeah, except my back,” he replied.

“So, maybe you should start doing it.”

“Thought you were going to suggest that soon.”

“Notice you didn’t bring it up yourself,” I said with a smile.

“Well, it’d be too overwhelming if all at once I started to do everything for myself I now should be able to,” he replied, and I am sympathetic to his viewpoint. He then went on to say how at first getting his own trousers on had seemed so daunting, how he wasn’t very good at it and how it’d taken him forever. But now, with all his practice, he’s pretty good at it – though he doesn’t think he’ll ever get them on in the few seconds that “Been there done that guy” can.

In Kroger on Sunday I found a greeting card that had me laughing out loud in the store. Gary and I were looking for birthday cards for our mothers – amazingly, they were born the exact same day the exact same year. I got two for my mom, one specifically a birthday card, and the one I will share here (so, mom, don’t look at this before your birthday). On the card the font gets continually smaller – hopefully I can reproduce that on the email/blog (oops, I see the blog won't let me do that -- oh,well). Here is what the writing on the card says:


When in doubt, repeat this:

Let me change what I can.
Let me accept that which I cannot change.
Let me ignore that which I cannot change or accept.
Let me run away from that which I cannot change, accept, or ignore.
Let me lock myself in the bathroom, hold my hands over my ears, and hum about that which I cannot change, accept, ignore, or run away from. Let me ...

Nov 20, 2006

Today was another jaunt up to Atlanta, this time for Gary’s six-month follow-up on his flap surgery. The doc said Gary’s butt looked great and pronounced him healed! (I had been noticing a marked improvement in the way the flap looks since Gary has been using the new chair, but the right side of the scar is still puffy and discolored and wide, so I wasn’t sure if that could be said to be healed; the doc said the difference between how the right, vertical side looks and how the other two, more horizontal sides look -- like thin smooth seams -- is a matter of pressure.)

The doctor lifted all restrictions (except, of course, weight shifts every 20 min., though possibly Gary can increase that to 30 minutes if his skin tolerates that). So now Gary can do any bending he wants, can have his butt submerged in water (like in a bathtub or a pool), can sit on a cut-out toilet seat, can lie on his back if he wants to (gradually working up to 4 hours at a time, though he’s not sure if he’ll do much lying on his back as his legs spasm and kick around whenever he does), and so forth.

This means that Gary should be able to do more dressing of himself, for one thing. And it also means he is ready for another round of Day Program. We spoke to the Day Program Manager after seeing the doc, and she is going to talk to the insurance company to see what they’ll pay for. The plan is for Gary to go to Day Program from Dec. 11-22. (I admit to be dreading the morning schedule, having to get up early and rush around to get him ready to go; we’ll be at the apartments again.)

At Day Program he’ll work on things he was restricted from, or limited on, or just hasn’t had enough practice on. I’ll bet a big thing will be floor transfers – how to get himself onto the floor from his wheelchair and vice versa. Also, one of the biggest things will be practicing how to maneuver in a double bed, so we can start weaning him off his dependency on the hospital bed (he loves those rails!) and so I hopefully won’t have to help him prone at night (so he can be more independent, eventually travel by himself, and so forth). I’ll bet he’ll also practice putting on trousers and socks and shoes while in his chair ( he has already been able to put on trousers and socks while in the bed). They’ll no doubt have him practice transfers to a cut-out commode seat, which he thinks is supposed to be a difficult transfer (hopefully, this will soon mean he won’t have to do any more bowel programs (“digs”) lying in bed – I think that’ll be the change that’ll make him happiest, assuming it decreases the time the program takes, which it should, since gravity will aid him). I imagine there will be more curb work – he hasn’t practiced any curbs since he’s been home. Maybe they’ll get him in the pool, though he says that would be a lot more enticing in the summer time.

Before leaving the flap doc, I asked him about Christopher Reeve. I told him I’d heard he died from an infected skin sore – that the infection had gone into his heart. The doc gave the proper terminology, saying Reeve had died from sepsis, as a result of his skin sore. I asked how that could happen to someone like that, someone who surely was taken care of round the clock and could afford the best of care – I wanted to know because it worried me that no matter how diligent we were at skin checks and pressure relief, that something like that could happen to Gary. The doc said he had no worry about something like that happening to Gary, that it had happened to Reeve because he hadn’t complied with the procedures for avoiding and treating skin sores (not a “good patient”). No chance of Gary that happening to Gary! (He and I both agreed Reeve should have been subjected to Tough Love.)

For Gary's reward for getting all restrictions cleared ;-), I bought him an Italian panini sandwich at Fresh Market before we headed home. This time I managed to be in the correct lanes at the right time. (We tried out the HOV lane for the first time -- the one for buses and car pools of at least two people. It was significantly faster. We couldn't figure out what "HOV" stands for, though, except we figure the V is for vehicle.)

After he transferred into bed this evening, I told him he should now be able to get his own shoes and trousers off, instead of me doing it for him as I have been doing. He said that he probably should -- but that he was too tired and didn't wanna ;-). So I told him, okay, no tough love tonight -- he could be a big baby ;-). He was happy to take me up on that.

Nov 18, 2006

Another wet run this morning. After Gary's transfer back from shower bench to wheelchair, the transfer board sticking to him as if it were glued to his butt, we decided to have him try it again without the board. It was an uphill transfer, and he needed my help, but I think if we make it a point to practice this, he should get it down, and it’ll be simpler than with the board. Now that we’ve turned the shower bench perpendicular to how it was, the transfers are easier than they were.

In the afternoon we went to check out mini-vans. We went to the Toyota place first. I helped Gary transfer into the passenger seat of a Sienna, and then I went for a test-drive, the salesman in the back seat. The ride was very smooth, but I felt like I was driving a motor boat (not used to big cars). Then I had to take Gary home and help him change because at some point his condom catheter had disconnected and he didn’t notice it. Wonder if the Toyota guy will send us a bill.

Then we went to the Honda place and tried out an Odyssey. We should have asked for the cheapest model, because instead we got a plush one, and it didn’t seem a fair comparison to the Sienna no-frills model we tried. I thought I’d like the Odyssey driver seat better than the Sienna one – it was one of those power seats that adjusted eight ways and even had a bun warmer – but it set off my leg symptoms, for some reason. This did not make me happy – I already had a lousy night’s sleep last night because I sat too long at critique group during the day and set off the symptoms (I feel too self-conscious to stand up all through our meeting at Paneeras!). I despair of ever being able to sit again for any length of time.

Anyway, I couldn’t really make a decision about which car I like better – hopefully I won’t have to do much driving of whatever we get. We realized we didn’t really understand if the modified vehicle will use the seats that come with whatever chassis we choose or if the seats are special, so I don’t know if my complaints about the Honda seat factor in – plus, maybe a non-power seat would be fine. Gary said he is leaning toward the Sienna because he likes where the controls on the cockpit were and he likes the fact that Toyota has a “mobility program” – the salesman showed us a number of brochures of converted vehicles, including one with a modification we hadn’t considered – the passenger seat swings out of the car for a transfer. We don’t know how much easier a transfer that would be, though – nothing for Gary to hang on to when he makes the transfer, whereas with a regular seat transfer into the passenger seat, he can hang onto the door, though since the transfer is an uphill one I’m not sure he could ever do it by himself. Maybe with the swing-out seat he could. Anyway, something to consider.

We realized the two of us had understood differently about the cost of the modifications. I thought the basic car would be about $25,000 and the modifications another $25,000. Gary thought the modifications would be $50,000. He is hoping I am right.

Nov 16, 2006

Yesterday (Wednesday) the cleaning person said she’d be here today, Thursday, at 1 p.m. She never came and she isn’t answering her phone. Our imaginations are going wild wondering what happened to her.

I am now at the doorway to Gary’s bedroom when he does the bed transfers. I asked him if I should just keep backing away, and he said he guessed so. He joked that soon I would have to get in the car and drive to Montgomery in order to get farther and farther away. Later would come Texas.

But, actually, I told him that the next step should be for him to do the transfers without me sticking a board under the castor wheel of his chair farthest from the surface he is transferring onto, and he agreed. His chair tends to slip slightly on the wood floor when he does his transfer, so to avoid that I have been putting a board under this wheel (using the transfer board for that, actually). But of course when he is doing this on his own, he won’t have me to put the board there. He is hoping the board will not be needed, that is, that he can compensate for the slipping wheelchair. He will have to practice this however, so we will start this process over with me close to his chair and with no board under his wheel.

Nov 15, 2006

Bad storm came through today – a funnel cloud was seen on the highway going by our town and the tornado warning sirens went off. We had winds of 50-60 mph, but I didn’t see any damage done locally.

***

One type of email I have gotten occasionally that I find particularly gratifying is how the blog has affected different people’s own lives. I’ve had a couple people tell me about elderly relatives of theirs who have fallen ill and had to go to the hospital, and how by reading the blog they know they have to keep on top of things and not depend on the hospital staff to do things right. Another person wrote to say how she viewed people in wheelchairs differently, that though they may be handicapped physically, they can be brave and strong mentally (and, she adds, so can their caretakers ;-)), and how every day these wheelchair-bound people may be working to increase their capacities, that the training is on-going, which is not something you would realize unless you know of someone in this situation. I want to thank those people who wrote such things for sharing those thoughts with me.

Nov 13, 2006

This morning Gary did another exceptionally good transfer while I was around the corner of the bedroom not able to see him. He said maybe the two he’s done that way have been so good because he knows he damn well better make it. ;-)

Blackjack is no longer fooled by the pills being hid in the chicken-flavored pill pockets. So now I set him on Gary’s lap and hang onto all four of his flailing feet while Gary struggles to open the cat’s mouth and get the pill down it. The poor thing then shoots off of the wheelchair (the cat, I mean, not Gary ;-)). I then give him a reward of some Fancy Feast Cat Food (again, I mean Blackjack ;-)) Blackjack then doesn’t whine for food as much as he usually does, because he’s afraid it might mean I try to shove another pill down him. Gary and I joked that maybe every time Blackjack whines for food, we should shove a placebo pill down him. That would probably cure him of this habit – a little negative reinforcement!

Gary then later yelled that Tigger had brought into the house a big long worm. Turned out to be a little snake – probably the tiniest one Tigger had ever brought in (and unfortunately, he does seem to like to bring in snakes). The only way I can get them out is by sweeping them with a broom into a box, but Gary said this one was so small I could pick it up. No way. Gary decided he himself could get it, and he leaned over and picked it off the floor and took it out of the house. Now, if he could only get the “foot-long plus” ones that Tigger brings in.

Gary had a couple appointments today. On the way to the foot doc, we somehow got talking about car-make recognition. Gary recalled how when he was a kid he wanted very badly to be able to be able to tell the make of a car just by the car’s appearance – all the other boys seemed to be able to do it. So he used to consciously look at cars and try to memorize their distinguishing characteristics – but it never “stuck.” He then finished up this reminiscence by saying that at least he was better than me at it – I sometimes forget what kind of car it is that I am driving or what color it is :-).

The foot doc says Gary’s toe is healing nicely and he doesn’t think Gary needs another appointment to see him unless there is some problem. We were both glad to hear Gary doesn’t have to soak it twice a day :-)

After that, Gary had an appointment for his driver evaluation. Unfortunately, it turned out we went to the wrong place for it, so we ended up being about twenty minutes late. The evaluator asked Gary questions like, “How is your endurance now – pretty good, or are you totally wiped out by the end of the day?” Gary told him it was pretty good. Gary got to skip being asked a whole lot of questions pertaining to his cognitive abilities because he wasn’t documented as having had a head injury. The evaluator had Gary go through some balance tests: Gary had to raise both arms straight up (his arthritis definitely limited him on that – not sure how much his balance problems affected that), then straight out to the side, etc. The evaluator said he did fine. He next wanted to see how far Gary could bend forward and bring himself back upright, and then to each side and then back upright, all without the aid of his hands. Not having trunk muscles Gary couldn’t bend very far, but he could do it some as the result of learning at Shepherd how to use his head as a counterbalance.

Next Gary had his grip tested. It turned out his grip is about thirty-five to forty pounds below normal. We are not sure why this is so – maybe just from the disuse of his muscles during the hospital stay. I guess this is why Gary can’t open the bottles of spring water we get – I have to do it for him. We had been laughing about that, thinking it was somehow psychological or some technique he didn’t have down, but I guess it really is physiological.

Next Gary had his vision tested, and it turns out he is color-blind to green! We never knew that before. The tester said that was no problem, however, since he would be able to figure out if a light was red, yellow, or that third color.

Next Gary had his reaction time tested, each hand separately, right then left. He put his hand on something that looked like an accelerator pedal, and then when a little light on a machine changed from green to red he was supposed quickly move his hand to what looked like a brake pedal next to the accelerator pedal. The tester said this machine used to be used in high school driver training classes but it isn’t made any more. He also said it wasn’t what Gary’s hand controls would look like or how it would function. Anyway, Gary scored average on that (both hands), which was fine, and the tester thought that with practice on the hand controls his reaction time would improve.

The tester finished up with a simple strength test where Gary pushed then pulled against the tester’s arm.

The tester said all in all Gary did fine and he foresaw no problem in training Gary to drive.

Next he talked to us about the different kinds of mini-vans, mentioning the Dodge Caravan, Chrysler Town and Country, Honda Odyssey, Toyota Sienna, Chevy Uplander, and Buick Terraza. (The Sienna is the one we looked at while at Shepherd.) He told us basically all mini-vans are the same, as far as conversion goes, except the Kia, Hyundai, and Nissan, although there’ve been some problems doing it with Fords. In the conversion, the floor will be lowered and the middle seats will all be taken out. The driver and front passenger seats start out as “quick-removable,” for access by a wheelchair in their stead, but since Gary won’t be driving in his wheelchair, the driver seat will be replaced by a “transfer base,” which will no longer be quick-removable. The transfer base will, at touches of a button, go back toward the middle of the van (where Gary will have entered in his wheelchair), face Gary, and then after Gary has transferred into it, face around to the front and go back to the driving position.

For floor ramps Gary has the choice of an in-floor ramp or a fold-up ramp. The evaluator said they take up about the same amount of space and he recommended the fold-up ramp because if there was ever any problem with the electronics, it would be much easier for Gary to work the fold-up ramp manually than the in-floor one. Also, the fold-up ramp is slightly less steep, an 8% grade instead of a 9% grade – every little bit helps when it comes to arthritic shoulders.

After Gary transfers out of his wheelchair to the driver’s seat, he would need to lock down his wheelchair in the van so it doesn’t become a projectile in case of sudden stops, etc. The evaluator said the usual place he gets a lockdown system from doesn’t make one for Gary’s type of chair. He called around to some places all during Gary’s evaluation, but I don’t think he came up with a source as yet.

Other modifications that would be made: a spinner knob on the wheel for one-handed driving, and a manual gas-brake hand control. Gary would drive with his right hand and keep his left on the hand control to accelerate and brake. We saw a little video of the “sure-grip hand control” – it kind of looks like a long stick with a grip and is situated to the immediate left of the wheel. You push it in to brake and tilt it back to accelerate. (See http://www.suregrip-hvl.com/ ) I wouldn’t need to learn this, fortunately – I would just drive the van as I normally would.

I think the last thing he mentioned was a column shifter that would be between the front seats, but I’m not sure if that is any different than the kind of shifter we are used to.

We would have to buy the chassis on our own (i.e., the unmodified van), the typical price around $25,000. The modifications would be in the range of about another $25,000. As I mentioned before, based on our income, we will most likely have to pay for the modifications to the vehicle ourselves, but it is possible it could be presented as a “RAVE” case (“Retaining A Valued Employee”) through the university, and if so the Dept. of Vocational Rehab (VR) would pay for the modifications. It wasn’t clear at our previous meeting with the VR person what the likelihood of that is.

We are to go around and decide what van we want, but we are not to buy one until all the quotes are in. That is, we decide which van we want, and then we tell the evaluator which one that is. He will then collect quotes for the various modifications to be made (he thought that would take about ten days), and he will give these quotes to the VR person. The VR person will then meet with us and tell us what her department will pay for, if anything. Based on that we tell the evaluator whether or not to go ahead. Then the evaluator will work with us and a “mobility dealer,” not a regular dealer, to get the van.

Since everything in the middle of the unconverted van will be taken out and the third row seats will not have the option of being stowable because the gas tank will be moved back to make room for the floor to be lowered, the only things we are supposed to be concerned about with the vehicle are the cockpit setup, the warranty, the outside appearance, the accessbility of the van, and things of that nature.

Once we have the converted van, the evaluator will train Gary to drive it. He didn’t think it would take long. He said he’d start Gary off in an empty parking lot, then on residential streets, then moderate city roads, etc. He’ll be training Gary a couple of hours a day, but I don’t recall if he said exactly for how long he expected the training to go on. Since Gary has been driving for 40+ years, what the training is really about is getting used to automatically using the hand controls in an emergency situation. The trainer said that it is automatic that one goes to use the feet to brake in an emergency (dog runs in front of you, etc.) – but of course Gary’s feet aren’t going to get that message. So the idea is to practice, practice, practice, so that the emergency response is to go to the hand for the brake, not the feet.

We thought it was great that this one person, whom I have referred to the evaluator, not only did Gary’s driver evaluation but will get all the quotes, help us get the vehicle, and then teach Gary to drive! Needless to say, Gary gave him the highest marks on the satisfaction survey that finished our meeting.

I was a little sore the next day, Tuesday, as I had to break down and put together Gary’s chair ten times on Monday to get him to and from his various appointments – now that Gary takes the bus, I’m not doing that as often as I used to. This will be another advantage of the van, since when he drives it I won’t have to be breaking down his chair in order to transport him ;-)

Nov 12, 2006

Gary made his first transfer with me out of his sight – his easiest transfer, the one where he goes from his wheelchair to the bed. I stood around the corner of the bedroom and made him count out “one, two, three,” so at least I would know when he was making the transfer. Then I stood there and silently said “Please, please, please,” to myself (as in, “Please let him make it”). As soon as he said “three,” I came around the corner. He had done a great transfer, getting well onto the bed. He asked me if I’d been nervous. I said, “Yeah.” He said that he had been nervous too at not being able to see me, but that maybe that was the reason why his transfer had been an extra good one.

Nov 10, 2006

Well, turns out the cleaning person was in the hospital with pneumonia! We decided this was a reasonable excuse for not showing up and are having her come next week ;-).

Nov 11, 2006

Michel Smith came over to see if Gary could transfer into his SUV, with help. First Gary thought it might be easier to get into the back seat because there was more room to maneuver, so he and I tried that uphill transfer with a transfer board. But we couldn’t figure out a way to do it successfully (without having someone actually pick Gary up) – we only got him about halfway up the board. So next we tried to do a transfer into the front seat, and it worked! Going into the front seat he had the front door to hang onto and help him, whereas the back seat had a sliding door that gave him nothing to hold onto. I gave Gary a bit more aid than usual during the transfer, mainly in preventing him from sliding back down the board as he did little hops up the incline, but I didn’t really try to pull him up the board. Transferring back out of the car – downhill – was a piece of cake. We showed Michel how to break down the wheelchair, and it fit easily onto the back seat of his car when placed upside down. Michel put the chair back together again, and then it was his turn to help Gary do the transfer. I am going to claim that Michel gave Gary much more lift than was my intention to do – surely it can’t be because Michel is stronger than me ;-) – and the transfer went beautifully. Gary was delighted. Michel has offered to drive Gary home on Mondays after the seminar Michel runs and Gary is attending. This way Gary will have some nice company for the trip and he won’t have to wait around for the bus.

However, we discovered in the evening that his uphill transfers from the wheelchair to the futon still need practice before I start standing away from him (he came up short and I had to pull him back onto the futon -- he ended up in an awkward position on his side, and it took us a little thinking of how to get him in a seated position again). For his transfers between the wheelchair and bed, I am probably about ten feet away. If he’s ready to try it, tomorrow I will be out of his sight around the corner.

At bedtime, after I congratulated Gary again for his successful SUV transfer, he thanked me for my encouragement throughout his attempts at it; he said I really supported him, and he appreciated it :-)

Nov 7, 2006

Today Gary made his first transfer to the futon – the idea is for him to do his stretching there. Because it was a new surface for him to transfer to and from, I “helped” him by holding his hips, but I really didn’t have to give him any help at all. I had to pad him off and put the chain loops around one foot, and then the other foot after he had gone through his exercises with the first leg. Before this, I was basically stretching his legs for him as there wasn’t enough room on the hospital bed for him to maneuver his legs around. So, another step in his independence.

Nov 8, 2006

After Gary transferred into bed this evening, he told me that his therapist had a trainee at rehab and that they had discussed his case while he was doing his exercises – he said he found it weird to have them discussing him while he was right there. I asked him what the therapist had told the other person, and Gary mentioned things like how his balance has improved a great deal and he is stronger, things like that. I guess this must have set him to thinking back on things, because he then commented that when he was in the hospital in Birmingham during those beginning days, the thought of being on an exercise mat was scary. I didn’t understand and asked him to explain. He said that a PT had come and seen him there a couple of times but didn’t really do anything with him, saying she couldn’t do so until they got him on a mat – so he knew that would be part of rehab. But he had found it scary to think of having to use such a small proportion of his body (from nipple level up) to move the all the deadweight (below nipple level). He said that when he was just lying in the bed in the ICU or in the nursing unit, he didn’t have to think about it – one doesn’t move about much in bed anyway. Though he is now used to it, he found it hard to think of the “stuff” below his nipples as part of his own body – it felt like someone else’s.

Nov 9, 2006

The new housekeeper, who said she absolutely was still interested in working for us and would be at our home today at 1 pm, was a no-show (Peg crosses her eyes).

Nov 6, 2006

Had to take Blackjack to the vet today. Noticed yesterday that his voice had changed, and today he could barely croak out a sound. Of course, that tempted me to NOT take him to the vet, but since he wasn’t eating very well and just laid curled up looking pathetic, I decided I’d better ;-). The vet couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with him – he didn’t even have a fever. But she gave him a shot of penicillin and gave me a bunch of antibiotics for him to take. Rats. Giving antibiotics to cats was another one of “Gary’s jobs,” or at least a two-person job. I could never hang onto one of our cats and get the pill down its throat. Somebody finally invented chicken- and fish- flavored “pill pockets” that you can stick the pill in and supposedly the cat will eat the pocket right down without tasting the pill. That has worked on Tigger, but I have my doubts Blackjack will go for it – we’ll see.

Gary told me Michel Smith visited him in his office and asked him about accessibility issues. Michel had gotten the university to put in a sidewalk behind the math building so that when Gary wheels down to the handicap parking area he doesn’t have to wheel behind parked cars but can stay on the sidewalk. Gary was hoping that sidewalk would be extended farther to another parking lot where the bus picks him up. Michel is going to look into that.

Gary said Michel also asked him if he was going to go to the Spring Topology Conference, and the way Gary said this to me I could tell he was feeling me out on it (since I don’t think either of us thinks he’ll be independent enough to go by himself by then), saying he wasn’t sure I’d go for it (I’m not sure if this is what he said to Michel). My first inclination was to say, “No way!” because it would be such a huge undertaking – getting all my stuff there and his stuff there (it’s in Missouri, so I’m pretty sure we’d fly), having to do his routine in a hotel room in a regular bed instead of his electric hospital bed, which would involve a completely different set-up that he (and I) would have to figure out how to deal with before then, not to mention whatever challenges the conference itself would pose. Etc., etc., etc. But I said if he really, really wanted to go, I’d help him attempt it. I told him that we would have to first practice by going to a local hotel sometime. He said he’s not sure he’ll be up to going by then, anyway – he said that he certainly couldn’t undertake such a thing now. So, we’ll see.

Nov 5, 2006

Gary asked if I was nervous about watching him do the transfer from four feet away. I said, yes! I know he’s been doing the transfers so much better now, but I can’t help worrying that one time he won’t, and I won’t get there in time to prevent him from going on the floor. And then we’ll have the problem of getting him back up on the bed, and he might hurt himself, and it’ll be all my fault – Gary stopped me right there and said that that won’t be the case, that it’s his choice. I told him his mother will be mad at me, though.

We started to watch the movie “Crumb” a few days ago, but saw all we wanted to see after the first twenty minutes – sorry, Donne. So now we are watching DVDs of Dorothy Sayers mysteries sent to Gary by J.P. and Pam Holmes while Gary was in the hospital.

Nov 4, 2006

Well, so much for me braggin’ on Gary’s transfers ;-) I had to go charging forward and help him back onto the bed this morning because he didn’t make it all the way onto the wheelchair during his transfer – maybe because it was a “naked” transfer (since he was going to take a shower). We were a little worried because he probably landed on the brake handle with his flap – all we need is for that to poke through him – but we could find no damage, thank God. But the incident didn’t stop Gary – he still had me stand back three feet while he tried it again. He made it fine, and in fact after his shower did one of his best transfers back onto the bed (which is where he dresses).

Nov 2, 2006

Now we’re trying where I watch Gary do his transfers while standing about two feet away. I still tend to move forward as he makes the transfer (“just in case”), but he says that’s okay – that when I’m to the point where I’m half a room away, I won’t be able to cross over to him that quickly anyway. At this time, he’s not comfortable with me leaving the room during the transfer (and neither am I), so we are proceeding with me moving back maybe a foot or so each day.

I took him to the podiatrist. His toe is healing nicely. I’ll take him back for a follow-up in ten days. Right now we’re back to soaking the foot twice a day, and he is finishing up the oral antibiotic.

Nov 3, 2006

Tonight I moved back to three feet away during the transfer. Gary noted how surprising it is that after months of not seeming to be able to improve on transfers, something has finally kicked in – though he’s not sure if it’s strength, technique, or what – and now he is doing them so much better. Yea!

Nov 1, 2006

Well, this made my day (and more ;-)): I found out (thanks, Debra!) that the person who has been writing a book on the Remington Steele series gave a copy of my fanfic novel to the creator of the show! I emailed Gary about it, and he asked if this meant that a movie based on my story was not impossible. I told him we could upgrade the likelihood of such a thing happening from impossible to highly improbable.

Oh, I suppose I should put something about Gary ;-). He has begun writing up a paper of some results he got shortly before his accident. He says it is coming along slowly but surely.

We found out a little more about that huge bill for the helicopter flight. Turns out we owe around fifteen hundred – but now we have to argue that we were mistakenly billed. Still seems like $18, 000 is a ridiculous amount to charge for that distance. I would hate to be someone without insurance who needed that ride!