Jul 28, 2007

Sad news. Gary did a websearch for one of his roommates at Shepherd, to see if he could find any recent information on the man – Gary had tried emailing him last fall, and never got a reply. Gary turned up an obituary during the websearch. The man died this past June, the obituary saying his death was caused by complications due to his spinal cord injury. He seemed in good health (other than the SCI, of course) when we were at Shepherd together, and his spirits had always been good. He was congenial and witty. He went around wearing a Superman T-shirt. We had met his mother and sister and one of his sons, and Gary had met his wife of 41 years. The man became a quadriplegic, I believe close to the time Gary became a paraplegic. The man's injury was caused by a drunk running a stop sign.

The news of his death made us cry.

Jul 24, 2007

Gary came home this morning and I took his report ;-). He said everything went pretty good, overall. He didn’t sleep that great while proning because although the pillows were those thick ones like the ones at the Holiday Inn Express in Columbus, he didn’t check whether he had put a firm one or a soft one underneath his chest beforehand, and it turned out to be a soft one and didn’t give him the support he needed. He was fine after he turned to his side though (about 3 am). He said the people at the hotel were happy to bring in his big suitcase for him and take it back out in the morning (at least, they were happy once he tipped them ;-)), so that was no problem. Maybe I should’ve had them do that for us in Columbus. Not sure if that works if you don’t look handicapped.

His first transfer into the bed took some planning on his part, because the bed was so high, and he said it didn’t go very smoothly. Because of the height of the bed, his feet didn’t reach the floor when he got into a sitting position on the bed, and whenever his legs are dangling without his feet being supported, his legs start spasming – literally kicking out – which makes it harder for him to balance. But since he forgot to turn out the hall light and had to transfer back out of the bed and then back in, he got extra practice on the transfer, and the second time went smoother. So now he feels confident he can transfer into a motel bed, at least if using the transfer board, with no problem.

He had another problem-solving situation arise at breakfast. In Columbus, I had gone to the breakfast area and brought him back bowl, spoon, banana, and milk, but here there was no way that he could carry back one of those 6 oz glasses of milk without spilling it on himself (normally he carries liquids in a big glass set between his legs while he wheels). Fortunately he had an empty 16 oz cranberry juice bottle, so he used that.

I didn’t worry too much about him during the night – woke up a couple extra times, I think. Worst thing was some ding-dong called my cell phone at 11:30 pm, and I shot for the phone, thinking it was Gary. Wrong number. Grrr. This is why I usually turn my phone off at bedtime.

Meant to mention with the random stuff yesterday, they had the auction of Gary’s mom’s household items last weekend. Mom Gruenhage wasn’t going to go – found it overwhelming, I think (Donne came up to oversee things). But she did go to it, and it turned out she was glad she did. She knew quite a few people there – including some cousins of Gary’s, who were bidding on stuff. And after people would win things, they would ask her for the history, so it turned she enjoyed it. The antique pedal organ didn’t go for as much as expected – about $250, I think. Gary’s erector set went for $35. :-)

Monday, Jul 23, 2007

Well, Gary is off on his big adventure tonight. He says he feels like a little boy who’s getting to camp out on his own in the backyard for the first time – excited, and a little nervous.

And what is this big adventure? He is ten minutes away in a motel, where for the first time since his accident he will stay overnight without me being feet away. I guess this means he’ll be skipping his bath tonight ;-) We are both really, really hoping he doesn’t drop something vital on the floor after he’s gotten into bed (or for that matter, dropped *himself* on the floor *before* getting into bed). The walkie-talkies won’t work at this distance, so I will be keeping my cell phone on overnight. Sounds like a real relaxing prospect, doesn’t it? :-)

Actually, I’m sure he’ll do fine. Well, almost sure.

My latest “adventure” is I’m trying out a local acupuncturist. I’ve seen her twice, and last Saturday night I had practically zero pain in both legs for the first time in a couple years (I had seen her on Friday). It was so nice going around thinking, Gosh, I don’t hurt! I slept great, best in a couple years. Unfortunately, the next night I was back to the usual. I am going to give her a try for a while to see if it can help.

Okay, more random stuff.

On Saturday morning while I was still grasping onto those last tendrils of sleep, Gary came to my room and announced there had been a jailbreak – for the first time, he’d got his bed rails down himself so he could get out of bed. I thought this meant he was going to do this all the time, but no such luck – only shower days, because on those days he does his skin checks after his shower so he doesn’t need the light on until after that (after he’s gotten out of the bed), whereas the other days he needs the light on before he’s gotten out of the bed and I am still enough of a pushover not to make him get out of the bed himself, turn the light on, then get back in the bed and do his skin checks (we keep saying we’re going to look into some kind of remote control for the lights). You would think my groaning response into the walkie-talkie when he asks to be let out of jail would be incentive enough for him to do it on his own, but apparently not. Actually, he has told me it would be more enjoyable if I were a little more upbeat in the morning, so I have taken to responding to his request with a “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.” I’m afraid it comes out a little sarcastically, however.

Well, as an acquaintance of mine says, a man is lucky to get any woman who will have him, so Gary probably realizes this and knows not to complain to loudly.

Recently we got a brochure from the local performing arts center and were debating getting season tickets. But apparently they only have four places for wheelchairs, and only two regular seats (total) would be next to these four slots. People with season tickets already have both those regular seats, which means we’d most likely be sitting apart during the various events. I think we’ll go see Garrison Keillor, anyway, but I’m not sure we’ll get the season tickets. Seems like they should have better accommodation.

Gary still never got the bolt for the push handle that came off of his wheelchair when he was at his mom’s – for some reason his equipment supplier can’t figure out which one he needs, claiming there’s lots of different bolts for that place, even on the same make of chair. They suggested we take the other handle apart and figure out what bolt we need and go to a local home center to buy one. We’re now pretty sure the bolt got stripped off because of the pressure of Donne picking up Gary’s chair by those handles to get him up the stairs at his mom’s. Recently Gary came across an article that said the person behind the chair should only be there to tilt it, and it is the person in front who does the lifting. That may be better on the push handles, but it is definitely harder on the back of the person doing the lifting! That is also not the way they taught us at Shepherd.

Well, Gary just called. He’s settled in his room but not in bed yet. He plans to wash his upper body while sitting in his chair (though he won’t be able to reach his back), and then he’ll take wash cloths over to the bed and get into bed and wash his lower body while in bed. He says the hard part is going to be getting into bed – the bed is higher than the motel ones he’s stayed in before. So he says if I get a call it will be because he was unsuccessful at that transfer (and is therefore now on the floor). He did take his transfer board and thinks to be safe he will use that for the transfer.

I told him to call me after he got into bed and was ready to turn off the lights for sleep so I don’t have to have my imagination going wild wondering if he’s on the floor and his cell phone has dropped somewhere out of reach.

More randomness. Just this past week Tigger has become Gary’s “faithful kitty.” When we first got home, Tigger used to get in the hospital bed with him all the time, but after Gary started doing his stretching on the futon and not on the bed, Tigger stopped coming in. We then realized this was because Tigger was wanting to be where *I* was, not Gary, that is, Tigger was only on the hospital bed because I was in there stretching Gary’s legs. We figured this out because it soon became obvious that every time I go into Gary’s room to do something for Gary while he’s in bed (bring the washcloths, give him his pillows), Tigger comes in demanding my attention. We knew he was jealous of Blackjack ever getting any attention, but now it became obvious he was jealous every time I gave *Gary* any attention in the bed! We have to laugh at that.

But maybe Tigger is expanding his affections somewhat. This past week he has been jumping into bed with Gary when Gary goes there to wash and do his bedtime IC and so forth, and I’m not in the room.

And now for your edification. I came across a note about how, though dogs are used in forensics for tracking smells, they do not have the most acute sense of smell in the animal kingdom. Cats are much better, and so are ferrets and pigs (think truffles). The trainer being interviewed said pigs don’t mind working but can’t always be brought into the area needing investigating, and besides, they get distracted by food. Ferrets apparently have zip attention span. Dogs like to work, respond to praise, and see themselves as people partners. Cats don’t like to work, and certainly don’t see themselves as people partners. The forensic trainer finished by saying the only time a cat would be useful in this regard would be if he was looking for a half-rotted fish and the cat was really, really hungry.

Smart cat.

Another call from Gary. He made a soft landing (onto the bed), but forgot to turn the hall light out, so now he has to transfer out of bed, turn off the light, transfer back into bed, and call me again.

Gary called again. All’s well ;-)

Carissa's sculpures, representing, in my words, how Gary is not chained to his wheelchair, that is, he is not letting his disability prevent him from living a full life.

Jul 7, 2007

Just thought I’d point out today is 07/07/07. Hey, I only get to point such things out 12 times during a century. Thirteen, I guess, if I count 05/06/07 (or if you’re from some country where they the order is other than month/day/year, you would have some other variant of that).

Gary is going on a daily antibiotic, as the leaking problem continues unabated.

He practiced another floor-to-futon transfer tonight. Strange how the one time he accidently fell onto the floor while doing a transfer went more smoothly than the three times he’s tried to get out of his chair to the floor on purpose! Instead of going straight down and landing on his tummy, he ends up going to the side and landing on his hip. At least he didn’t fall on his head this time (and I didn’t give him any support under his chest like I did last time). Plus I put a piece of foam to the side in case he *did* go sideways (as well as an exercise mat straight out for him to hopefully land on), so when he did go sideways, he was cushioned. He tried to get up on the futon without any help at all from me, but from his up-on-his-knees position he sank back onto his butt and then he didn’t have any leverage to go forward, so I gave him a little boost until he had his chest on the futon. He did the rest himself. So, he still needs more practice.

His sister Norma called (right when we pulled into the parking lot of Kroger :-)). He told her about the trip back. She mentioned that she is planning on putting a lot of the photos that their dad took over the years onto a DVD. He was quite a good photographer – lots of cute pictures of “the kids” and also nice scenery shots from their vacations. Norma mentioned that she would try to cut down the number of pictures somewhat – they probably don’t need three of a dog they had when they were kids. Gary said he thought of pointing out to her that in terms of the pictures of “the kids,” there is a disproportionally large number of her (because she is the only girl) and Donne (because he is the first-born), whereas Gary and Bob got short shrift. So Gary really thinks she could work at evening out the number of photos of the four of them. :-)

Jun 25-30, 2007

I’m afraid I got zonked, and thus was derelict in my duty of blogging, so will try to recall some of the rest of that week’s happenings. Mom Gruenhage had to make a lot of decisions about what to keep for her much smaller place, what to throw out, what to give to Goodwill, and what would be auctioned off (the auctioneer later informed her a lot of stuff she had given to Goodwill could have been auctioned off, but I don’t think she was too worried about that). Norma and Phyllis helped her with the sorting, while Donne, Wayne, Bob, and the kids did the carrying of boxes and so forth. Gary and I wrapped dishware in newspaper on Monday, and that was about the extent of my help. My various pains acted up more than usual and I slept lousy the whole week, aided by the thundering herd living above me at the motel (surprise, surprise). As a result, Tuesday afternoon I felt a sore throat coming on, and it turned into a bad cold. I stayed in the motel by myself on Wednesday and Thursday. I discovered the juice machine in the motel’s dining area, so I drank a lot of orange juice on Wednesday and Thursday. Evidently they had accidently left the machine turned on, an error they discovered on Friday, and I got no more juice.

It was fortunate Gary is so much more independent now. He needed me for a few tasks in the morning and at bedtime, but other than that, when I was feeling too lousy to go to his mom's house with him, all I had to do for him in the morning was break down and load his wheelchair in the car after he transferred into the car, and unload the wheelchair and put it together so he could transfer into it when he returned in the evening. I told Donne I was going to miss him – he was the one who lifted the chair into the car for me all the time. (And as well he bumped Gary down the steps at his mom’s all the time, and he and Justin bumped Gary up those stairs all the time.) It was good Gary didn’t need me around much, because I would hate for him to get this cold, especially given the extra problem such a cold would cause a paraplegic. So far, he has escaped it.

On Tuesday enough of Mom Gruenhage’s house had been sorted through so that she could move her into her new place. After Tuesday’s dinner, Gary and I went to see it for the first time. At this time, paving stones lead from the parking lot to the back entrance, but she is having a sidewalk put in, so that will make it much more wheelchair accessible – especially in leaving, when going downhill, Gary’s wheels kept getting caught between the stones. The apartment is one-bedroom, with a living room/ dining room area, and a semi-enclosed kitchen off of that. The previous owner had put up something to block the view out of the kitchen into the living room area (and out the sliding glass doors of the back entrance), and we all agreed that was claustrophobic for anyone in the kitchen! So that was taken down and it really opened up the room. (And it would have been weird to be a guest sitting in the living room and talking to your host in the kitchen who you couldn’t see.) What I guess would be called the front door led to a hallway, down which were the entrances to the other residences and to common areas, like the laundry room, mail room, and dining room. A dinner is served around noontime every day (for something like $4, I think). Her apartment seems ideal for one person. But she sure had to get rid of a lot of stuff! (You would think that would motivate me to get rid of all the junk I keep, but . . . .)

I think on Wednesday they pretty much finished with the upstairs of her house and started in on the downstairs, and got that finished on Thursday. I rejoined them for a time on Friday so they would know I was still alive, hoping I didn’t give them my germs. Actually, I missed seeing Norma and her family off on Friday, because they left early. Bye, guys.

One nice thing that happened is Phyllis showed Gary (I wasn’t there) a photo of a sculpture that Carissa did for an art class. Gary told me her art class assignment had been to pick a person inspirational to her and make a piece representative of that. Carissa had chosen Gary and her piece had in it a wheel and a chain attached to a shoe. Gary said Phyllis explained it much better, but that it was supposed to represent how he wasn’t letting his disability prevent him from leading a full life. I asked to have the image emailed to me so I could put it up on the blog, but evidently Carissa doesn’t feel it’s finished, even though Gary thought it marvelous (and cried over it). So, when I get an image of it from her, I will put it up on the blog.

We left on Saturday morning. The people at the airport were very helpful. The Avis people dropped me off at the terminal (they had to drive, and with our luggage, it wasn’t going to work for both the guy and Gary and me to be in the car, and since Gary had been driving, for him to now be the passenger would have meant putting together his chair so he could transfer into the bucket seat on the passenger side, then breaking the chair back down and loading it in the car, and I would walk – much easier for him to wheel!). We met up on the curb outside door 2 of the Omaha airport. Gary went inside to get a porter, but meanwhile a porter showed up to help. The guy got our boarding passes for us and our luggage checked – we didn’t even have to wait in the long line that had formed! Gary did an IC, then we had lunch. In security, they again didn’t check the pouch under the front of Gary’s chair. I did discover when I got home that they went through my checked-in bag (they left a note saying so). I’m not surprised – it was oddly shaped. Wonder what they thought when they opened it and found a slow cooker, a large tin of rice, and other foodstuffs.

When we got to our gate, we found the plane was going to be delayed an hour and a half! Grrr! They didn’t give us “a tug fell over in front of the plane” excuse, so I don’t know what the delay was about. This time Gary did all the transfers involving the aisle wheelchair himself! (Instead of having two people lift him.)

Gary was thrilled to have been able to make this trip. He fared far better than I did.

When we got home, our cats let us know they really missed us. It’s been funny. For the past three days they keep making all this noise, keep checking to make sure we’re still in the house, and Tigger ran out anxiously to the car when Gary and I made to go to the grocery store on Sunday as if he didn’t want us to leave. It's hard to be too mad at Blackjack, but he keeps making all these strange, loud ululations that we’ve never heard before (Gary told him to put a sock in it, but the cat didn’t accede to the request). They didn’t make this much of a fuss after our trip to Missouri or to Day Program, nor did Blackjack act up like this when we came back that first time from Shepherd. Have no idea why this seems to have been so traumatic for them!

And to finish this entry:

Throughout Gary’s stay at Shepherd, he would say he could never repay me. I told him yes he could. He could read my stories and give me his honest feedback on them, but he had to be honest because my critique group certainly would be, and he wouldn’t be doing me any favor by not being forthright – even if that might be hard on us both. Well, he finished reading my novel while on the trip, and said it is absolutely his favorite of the fiction I’ve written. I will spare you from giving you the details of all the nice things he had to say ;-) I hope everyone (or at least, lots of people ;-)) will feel the same way as he does about it. :-D

(Which is not to say I am perfectly satisfied with it yet. And, as didn’t surprise me, he had a couple sections he thought should be shortened “to get back to the main story.”)